When the Curtain Falls
by Jedi Goat
Summary: Kaoru never told anyone the true nature of his feelings because Hikaru loved Haruhi...didn't he? Then what was his twin playing at now? Post Chapter 53, HikaruxKaoru. 7snogs challenge collection.
1. The Act, Part I

**When the Curtain Falls  
><strong>

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.

Warnings: Hinted slash and twincest. Spoilers for up to chapter 53 in the manga.

Author's Note: This is a collection of short fics for the **7snogs** community challenge, bundled together because they're all chronological.

Author's Note II: I'm looking for a beta for my HikaxKao fics! I'm most interested in improving my characterization and romantic development, so, no worries if your strength lies not in grammar or spelling. However, the rating may go up in the future so...ehh...be warned. :D Just drop me a PM if you're interested. :)

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><p><strong>The Act, Part I<strong>

Hikaru was late again that night.

When he fumbled to close the door behind him with numbed hands, breathing haggard in the silence, I glanced up only briefly from my open sketchbook. There was a raw flush to his face, his dark hair unruly and windswept. While he struggled with the zip of his jacket, I returned my full attention to sketching.

I knew, if I inquired, he would offer up another story about a late-night project or studying for an upcoming midterm. He didn't even bother to put effort into his lies any longer. My chest tightened, but I ignored the sensation, furrowing my brow as I mentally ran over the proportions of my drawn horse in full stride.

After a while I grew conscious of Hikaru's continued presence; I glanced up again and caught his silhouette framed against the darkening window, a bundle of fresh clothes forgotten under one arm.

His expression gave me pause: he gazed across the blackened grounds, features blank, something almost pained in the twitching of his jaw. It was so unlike my brother to seem so suddenly lost that I laid aside my pencil and leaned forward on the edge of the bed.

"Hika...?"

He jolted out of his thoughts with an irate shake of his head and grinned weakly at me. As he turned back into the light, the unknown haunted look in his eyes dissipated into familiar wryness, but I was certain nonetheless that it had been there.

"Hey, Kaoru, what's it supposed to be like, to kiss somebody?"

I opened my mouth and closed it dumbly. _Haruhi,_ the thought bubbled up at the back of my mind. _He was thinking about Haruhi again. _I tried to ignore how that revelation made my stomach shrink. It was, after all, by my own coercion that he finally realized his feelings for her, so I should have been happy for him.

Nevertheless, it was impossible not to note the correlation between his new interest in her and the yawning distance between us.

Hikaru was still waiting, fidgeting absently with the collared shirt on top of his pile, and so I raised my eyes to him and presented what I hoped wasn't as grimacing of a smile as I felt it was. "Why are you asking me?"

Hikaru's hand moved to the back of his neck, an absent nervous gesture. "'Cause you kissed Haruhi before."

"Only on the cheek," I corrected him quietly. I realized my posture had gone rigid and sighed softly, returning my gaze to my lap. I noticed I'd forgotten to shade the horse's hooves and picked up my pencil again.

"It doesn't matter," Hikaru said stubbornly. "You kissed her, and I haven't. I...I don't think I can. I don't know if I'll be able to do it right, or, or if I'll just slobber over her, you know?" He had jolted into motion again and his weight compressed the mattress next to me, jarring my pencil strokes. When he leaned over, tilting his head for a glimpse of my drawing, I laid my arm across it.

"Well, you'll just have to try it then, won't you?" My voice came out cold and unfamiliar and Hikaru pulled back, eyes widening slightly.

Before the words left my mouth I knew my bluntness was uncalled for, and the wounded look in his eyes sent a pang of regret through my chest.

_I'm sorry, aniki._

Still...

The last thing I wanted to think about was him kissing Haruhi. It had been cruel of him to spring _that _on me in the first place.

Thus petulantly justified, I returned to looking over my sketch, pretending not to notice Hikaru picking at a loose thread in our covers beside me and hoping he didn't realize in turn that my pencil had stopped moving a long while ago.

At last Hikaru's mumbled voice broke the tense silence. "You're right. You're right, Kaoru, and I guess I just thought...well, since you usually know better than me, I thought you'd be able to tell me."

I snorted aloud. "Who told you that?"

_Know better than him..._ Right, if I knew _anything_ I wouldn't have pushed Hikaru toward Haruhi in the first place; and I especially wouldn't have allowed myself to fall into the very trap I had sworn to avoid.

My shaking fists curled against the coiled edge of my sketchbook as Hikaru shifted up beside me on the edge of the bed. "No one," he corrected, undeterred, "because for once I didn't _need_ anyone to tell me. Please, Kaoru, even if you just think I'm an oblivious idiot, just this once..."

"Just this once, what?" I demanded. His face was too close to mine now and I went cross-eyed trying to focus on the unfamiliar intensity blazing in his amber eyes.

"Just this once...trust me."

_Trust him?_ Did I really come off so cold? In sudden shame I struggled to enunciate that I did trust him, heck, I'd always trusted him; weren't we always together for that very reason?

But I never had the chance to let him know: Hikaru only hesitated for a terrifying split-second before he purposefully closed the distance between us.

There was neither precedence nor abiding sense to his advance, and I froze at the first decisive contact of his dry lips. He lingered for a moment as if waiting for me to jerk back and crossly call him off: _What the hell's wrong with you, kissing your own brother?_

When I didn't so much as react, though, he pushed a little farther, a little more confidently, his lips rough and cold and - they must have been, I rationalized - identical to mine. All I could hear was the thunder of my own heart beating; I didn't dare to move and shatter this strange illusion. For a long moment, I even forgot to breathe.

Dizzied, I finally gasped for breath and was already overly lightheaded when Hikaru took the opportunity to slide his warm tongue between my open lips. Distantly protest surfaced at the back of my mind again: _Hikaru, you haven't locked the door, anyone could see us..._

But something more deeply rooted at the back of my consciousness surged to light as I realized I couldn't hold myself back any longer.

I was suddenly conscious of my hands burying themselves in his thick musky hair, knotting him against me, desperately smashing our lips back together in terror of what would happen when he let go.

The feverish torture overpowered my mind and too soon I caved, dragging him down on me as I sprawled spread eagled across the covers. Hikaru broke off and struggled to turn his head, his heaving chest pressing weightily upon me.

"You're not...half bad...you know?" he managed, a familiar slow smirk returning to his face. His tousled hair, more of a mess than before, distractingly flopped into his eyes.

I ran my tongue over my swollen lips and summoned the wits to speak. "Same to you."

Hikaru chuckled and shifted up on his elbows. "So, if I can get _that_ reaction out of you, no problems with Haruhi then."

Just like that...

I felt the flush drain away from my face and stared at the far wall, a wave of cold rushing through my veins. Obliviously Hikaru rolled off me toward the edge of the bed and ended up, catlike, back on his feet.

I closed my eyes to fight off the prickling of tears as he rummaged for his abandoned clothes on the floor. _How could you?_ The berating words beat within my head. _How could you still let him do this to you, after all this time?_

It was all still an Act, and nothing more.

Goddamn it, he had kissed me for _Haruhi's_ sake.

I yearned to scream, but I waited until Hikaru had retreated into the shower before flopping face down on the mattress and fisting the disheveled bedcovers.

_Stupid Kaoru. Stupid, _stupid_ Kaoru._

I had promised myself not to let my emotions get in the way. I had promised myself to let go for his sake - so that in our learning to be different people, in my bringing him closer to Haruhi - Hikaru could finally be happy. To consider otherwise would only bring us pain. I repeated my mantra, tightening my fists.

Then I had to go and allow myself that futile hope - that utterly _pathetic_ hope - and turn myself over to his control. Good job, Kaoru: why not make it blatantly _obvious_ how much you depend on him?

And what of Hikaru, himself? I couldn't bring myself to contemplate why he had done something so reckless. I couldn't even begin to decipher what it was I was supposed to feel now.

I could be certain of one thing, though: even if I had been foolish enough to hope for a moment, there was now no doubt in my mind that Hikaru had only ever fed me lies. And why wouldn't he? Our Act worked wonders on our fans.

Too well, almost. I had nearly believed it myself.

From now on, I had no choice but to bury the bruises it left on my heart and treat him exactly as he was.

_A_ _liar._

Fin.

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><p>Next time: Part II. (Original titles, hey?)<p>

Please review!


	2. The Act, Part II

**When the Curtain Falls**

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC.

Author's Note: Many thanks to my awesome beta, DevillishTwins! :)

Forgot this last time:

**Prompt: 01 - Restless  
>Summary:<strong> After Part I. Hikaru needs a break from his Physics homework, and Kaoru only wants to help.

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><p><strong>The Act, Part II<strong>

"Kaoru, I don't _get_ this..."

I blinked, attention drawn from the pages of my book, and glanced sideways to where my brother sprawled across our bed, head propped on his folded arms. In front of him lay his open Physics textbook. As he huffed his bangs from his eyes I abandoned my curled position up against my pillow, peering over his shoulder.

By the amount of scratched-out digits in his notes, he'd been struggling with the same problem for a while; I frowned and tilted my head to read the pertinent question while Hikaru agitatedly tapped the end of his pencil against the page. _A car of mass 500 kilograms moves north at 45 kilometres per hour when it experiences an inelastic collision with a truck of the same mass moving at 30 degrees south of east ..._ What was the resultant velocity and direction of the two vehicles?

"I don't know. You were always better at this sort of stuff..."

Hikaru made an impatient noise in his throat and rolled over, staring at the ceiling. "I hate not getting it," he muttered. "We've been learning this stuff since last week, but I still can't get any of these stupid questions _right_. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing anymore."

Silently I tugged his abandoned notebook toward me to read his lopsided scribbles, squinting slightly. I mentally tried to compute his numbers, but that was about the limit of my assistance: the concept was way over my head. There was a reason I had never taken Physics.

"I don't know," I repeated. "Your math's right, anyway, I think," I added, looking back at Hikaru. He didn't answer, now scrubbing his hands over his face. I bit my lip - I wanted to be more helpful to him, but I honestly wasn't the person to be asking here. In desperation I reached for his book instead and tried to find a section relevant to momentum.

"Um ... maybe you could call someone in your class," I offered, distractedly running my finger down the page. Hikaru made a faint noise in his throat - not exactly assent - and squinted up at me through his fingers.

"...Kaoru?"

"Mm?" I paused, catching sight of a useful-looking formula. Mass multiplied by velocity...now what did that give me, exactly? There had to be an example somewhere or something.

"...will you do me another favour?"

"Wha-?" Jerked out of my thoughts, I glanced sharply to where he sprawled next to me, ensuring to keep my finger on the formula. "What d'you want me to -?"

But Hikaru didn't reply: he reached over and his fingers tangled seamlessly in my hair. At the abrupt contact I froze and that was what allowed him to drag me, without protest, down to his level.

Our lips crashed together. I gasped and twisted my head slightly so that my nose wasn't rammed up against his chin, and Hikaru used the opportunity to press his advantage. His fists tightened in my hair, pressing me more fiercely, more urgently down against him.

I threw out my arms to either side to stop myself from falling flat on top of him, scrambling to collect the scattered mess of my thoughts.

The door wasn't locked behind us.

Was this because of Haruhi again?

What new, messed-up facet of the Act was this?

There was no sense to Hikaru's kiss: only furious need, and I struggled to keep up with him without yielding too much - without allowing him to realize how desperately much I wanted this to be real.

In the end, Hikaru broke off first. His hands slipped away from my scalp and I drew back slightly, staring at his upside-down expression in breathless bewilderment. _What was that for?_ I half wanted to demand; and yet I was afraid to question him in case reality drove him back to his senses, back to the rigid regime where it was _not okay_ for such impetuous acts to exist.

To my thanks, though, Hikaru didn't speak either; he rolled wordlessly out from beneath me and grabbed his books, chucking them carelessly in the direction of his schoolbag.

In his absence I crawled back up to a cross-legged position, watching his back and still waiting, terrified, for some indication as to what _that _had meant.

"Hikaru?" I tried tentatively.

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed. You don't have to come, if you don't want to yet." Defeat weighed down his tone. I tilted my head in bemusement and slipped off the edge of the bed, cautiously licking my lips.

"Okay. Just let me brush my teeth first."

I was all too glad to lock myself momentarily in the adjacent washroom. Out of his sight I leaned heavily against the counter, my heart racing, my face too flushed in the mirror.

I couldn't be certain, but I wanted to believe that this time, he hadn't had Haruhi on his mind when he kissed me.

As I brushed my teeth I ran the scenario every way through my mind to no certain conclusion. Finally I could taste nothing more than an almost painful mint freshness and bent over the sink, turning the tap on full force.

Forget Physics, I thought as I resurfaced, scrubbing my jaw with my sleeve, what I don't get is Hitachiin Hikaru.

When I padded back into our darkened room, Hikaru was doing a good job of pretending to be already asleep. I tugged back the covers and crawled onto the left side of the mattress, accidentally brushing against Hikaru's side as I curled into position. He was warm, and I was already chilled from walking across the bare floor, but in a well practiced manner I twisted away from him, knees tight to my chest to conserve as much body heat as possible.

I closed my eyes and listened to the stillness. If Hikaru was still frustrated - if I had aggravated him further somehow - I had no way to tell, and it would worry me all night, I knew. I let out a sigh and whispered out of habit, "Goodnight, ani-chan."

Hikaru didn't stir, but after a few moments I heard a mumble of something like "G'night, Kaoru."

Fin.

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><p>It won't all be one-sided, I promise. :3<p>

Please review!


	3. The Act, Reprise

**When the Curtain Falls  
><strong>

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC.

Many thanks to DevillishTwins for helping me out!

Happy V-Day everyone!

**Prompt: **14 - New  
><strong>Summary:<strong> After Part I and II. An exchange at the Christmas Ball leads to an unexpected confession. Meanwhile, Tamaki is confused.

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><p><strong>The Act, Reprise<strong>

The transformed central ballroom was something out of a dream. The scene unveiled itself to me at a disjointed distance: the orchestra beneath the darkening windows allowing the first quickening notes of their next song to simmer in the air; a dozen Christmas trees glimmering along the walls; a few long tables in one corner spread with an array of refreshments and a chocolate fountain. A whirl of students danced beneath the crystalline chandeliers, colourful dress tails swooping out after their wearers.

I wandered the edge of the room, intent on avoiding lingering too long in any spot in case my availability tempted the Host Club regulars. I was in no mood to dance, as it were, and kept my hands in my pockets, my eyes on the trees or the fake frost and tinsel on the walls – anything to avoid glimpsing Hikaru and Haruhi dancing together.

A clump of girls whispered around the chocolate fountain and I started to edge more purposefully away when I caught a flicker of blond hair from over by the punch bowl. I hesitated – the girls' giggling escalated – and changed course toward the familiar white-suited figure.

"Tono?"

Tamaki jumped and whirled around to face me. His face flashed with welcome recognition and in an instant he fell into role, spreading his arms. "Kaoru! How lovely to see you! Daddy was worried, you know..."

I smiled weakly in answer, wondering vaguely why he had been hiding behind the punch bowl anyway. I cleared my throat to divert him, since his voice was earning the curious stares of the nearby girls.

"You know, senpai, I thought you of all people would be dancing tonight."

Tamaki stopped in his tracks, still holding a rose he had somehow procured in the middle of his speech. He almost seemed to wither, and for a moment the mask wavered.

"Well, you know ... someone has to ensure all of you are taking proper care of yourselves..."

I nodded absently, shifting over on the pretence of pouring myself some punch. I discreetly peered out from his chosen viewpoint and glimpsed, through a gap in the crowd, a flicker of Haruhi's periwinkle gown.

I drew back, feeling my stomach sink a little at the sight. "Tono," I said quietly, "you're watching Haruhi, aren't you?"

Tamaki jumped again, launching heroically into an explanation. "But of course, it's natural for a father to be worried about his daughter, isn't it? And, after all, this _is_ the first time she's been to such an event in the company of a boy –"

As he rambled**,** he seemed hardly aware of his own fingers systematically picking apart the rose's petals. I turned away.

"You don't have to pretend, you know ... it's pretty much obvious to both of us."

Tamaki gawked at me. All at once he became aware of the shredded rose and stuck it behind his back. "I don't know what you're saying, Kaoru. Daddy is very happy, so long as his daughter is happy. Yes, you know, daddy only ever wanted the best for her."

Maybe it was true.

"So," I reckoned quietly, "I guess we're more alike than you'd think."

Tamaki stared at me. Incredible, I actually had our extravagant boss lost for words. _Hikaru would have..._

I smiled absently and ran my fingertips around the rim of my glass. "Well. Who'd have thought it would end like this," I murmured. "I'll admit, I always thought it would be you two. I guess I never realized Hikaru was that serious."

Tamaki frowned at me thoughtfully and opened his mouth just as Hikaru waded over to where we were standing. I glanced at him and then diverted my gaze again. A healthy flush beat at his face and he tugged absent-mindedly at his tie.

"Hey, Kaoru, hey, Tono."

"Where's Haruhi?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I told her I'd go get drinks." He leaned past me for a second glass and I pretended I couldn't smell the crispness of his new aftershave. Tamaki and I played at not noticing while he measured out both goblets and then, hesitating only a moment, thrust both into a surprised Tamaki's grasp.

"You should go dance with her for a bit," Hikaru announced.

"But ... I ..." Tamaki stared, dumbstruck, at the pink punch.

"Come on," Hikaru flashed a grin, "besides, I'm beat, I'm taking a break. Go show her a good time, you got me?" He gave him a slight shove and Tamaki, bewildered, tottered off into the crowd.

Now alone, I stared blankly at Hikaru. But he only smiled to himself, watching Tamaki's retreating back; then he reached over and seized my sleeve.

"C'mon."

In my surprise, I left my drink behind and followed. Hikaru tugged me past the crowded dance floor toward the double doors along the far wall. I redoubled my strides to a jog to keep up as we stepped out onto the second floor balcony. Hikaru went immediately to the rail, turning back and propping his elbows on the ledge behind him while he gazed up at the school aglow with warm lights.

It was a fresh night and our breath fogged the air away from the warmth and the strands of music emanating from the open doors. I shivered unconsciously and leaned next to him, peering down at the grounds robed in shadow below. A white horse-drawn carriage – imported solely for tonight's ball – turned and disappeared beneath the dark belt of trees.

I sighed and broke the silence.

"Hikaru...?"

"It's much better out here, isn't it?" Hikaru spoke with a lazy grin, his head tilted upward. "Easier to think."

"Yeah, I guess." I shuffled my feet, crossing my ankles. Distantly I wondered why he'd left Haruhi in the company of whom he knew was his rival, but I couldn't bring myself to voice my question.

At last Hikaru dragged a hand through his hair. "Kaoru ... listen. I have to apologize for a lot of things lately –"

"No," I stopped him. I was unwilling to hear it from him now when I was still so vulnerable. My heart throbbed as I spoke flatly, "I'll be okay. It's over, Hikaru ... never mind."

"It's not." Hikaru reached over brusquely and grasped my shoulder. I glanced up in surprise, meeting the sudden fierceness in his eyes. "Don't you ever say that again, Kaoru. It's _not_ over."

"But ... you ... _Haruhi_..."

"I'm not talking about the Club. It was always bigger than that." His hand loosened on my arm and he turned away. "I ... have to apologize for running away all those times. I had to get away from you."

I flinched as his words hit. Did he really hate me so much...? I had only ever wanted to help him... "Hika -?"

"The thing is ... the thing is, I was scared. I didn't understand for the life of me what was going on, Kaoru, and to tell the truth ... I'm still not sure. If I did something wrong, I was sure I would lose you forever. I knew I couldn't live with myself if that happened – if you hated me. So I ran."

I didn't know where this was going anymore. I stared at him, wide-eyed, and merely listened as he poured out the words he had surely held pent up for months. Somehow I knew Hikaru needed to get this off his chest, even if I wasn't sure these words were intended for my ears.

"But I don't regret what I did then. Mori-senpai lent me a room to meditate. It helped to think – to separate myself a little. But," he drew a breath, "when you pushed me toward Haruhi, I didn't have a clue what to do. I just wanted you to be happy, and in the end, I guess, I thought that way would be the best for both of us. But it wasn't, Kaoru ... it wasn't, because I saw how much it was hurting you. I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to stop."

He stopped and looked back at me. I didn't say anything; he sighed and pushed on.

"And on top of that, I was still afraid. I had to test my theory, so ... I made up that crap about kissing Haruhi. When you responded like that, that's when I realized how much I'd fucked things up for both of us. It should have ended things there. I've wanted to end it with Haruhi for months. I've had so many chances and haven't said anything it's unforgivable. I'm sorry, Kaoru, for leading you on like this for so long."

He trailed off, looking toward the school again. I licked my dry lips.

"What are you saying, Hikaru?"

He turned back to face me and gently grasped my forearms; our eyes met, his amber gaze unfamiliarly urgent. "I'm saying that I was an idiot for not realizing what was in front of me. You've taken nothing but crap from me for the past months and yet you still look at me like that – like you care about me and my selfishness. Hell, Kaoru, you kissed me back, when in your place I would've ... I would've _hit _me for my gall.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru, because I realized I love you, far more than a brother should, and I just ... I just want you to know that. I ... it's all right if you think I'm fucked up for even thinking that. I'll leave you alone from now on, I promise, I –"

His words quickened, tumbling over one another in his rush. I wasn't thinking anymore; my mind had slipped into utter blankness and I laid my hand over his mouth to stop his rambling, too.

"Hikaru, I..." I stared at him, my throat dry, too bewildered to think of a coherent reply; before I knew it, the unconscious words slipped out.

"...I love you, too."

Hikaru's golden eyes widened. For a moment we could only stare at each other, breathless and terrified by the weight of our words hanging in the air. My pounding heartbeat filled the silence.

"Kaoru..." There were too many thoughts beyond words whirling in Hikaru's eyes. The look was tortured, but somehow relieved at the same time, and, surely, mirrored on my own face. He struggled valiantly for words, anyway, his breath hot on my fingertips. "I ... how ... I mean, _why_...?"

He begged of me thoughts and experiences that I had buried deep at the bottom of my heart; I couldn't bring myself to speak and lay any of them between us now. Instead I reached up, tangling my fingers in his thick dark hair, and pulled his identical face toward mine. I thoroughly gave him my answer with my lips: I kissed him, more fiercely than I dared even in my dreams, communicating more than words could ever hold in the breathless, feverish instant of desire. Hikaru inhaled sharply, his hands on my shoulders slackened; in this moment, out on the frosty balcony as snow spiralled from the black sky, I had him and him alone.

I stepped back, breaking off. But I was braver now, and met his eye as he blinked and opened and closed his mouth several times in wonderment. Emboldened by his reaction, I smirked.

"Does that answer your question?"

"I ... Yes, yes, it does," Hikaru deemed, something like a sheepish flush glowing in his cheeks as he stumbled over the words. My stubborn brother lost for words was perhaps the most endearing sight I'd ever witnessed and I allowed him to take my face in his hands, bringing our heads close enough together that our noses bumped. His fingers trembled against my temples as though he was half-afraid of what might happen if he let go.

It was cute to see him so nervous for my sake, but I wouldn't have him hold back any longer. I wanted him to kiss me like before – without hesitation, without restraint. I leaned into his touch, tilting my head upward, reminding him with my open lips a half inch from his.

A wave of cheers stopped him short. My eyes flew wide; Hikaru tensed and over his shoulder I glimpsed the cluster of girls gathered at the open doors, looking on at the scene. I shied back against Hikaru's body, heat rushing to my face. Sudden, unwanted petrifaction numbed my senses and I could barely breathe for the ice closing in on my lungs.

_How...how much did they see?_

_How much do they _know_?_

I felt Hikaru's breath on my left ear. "Do you trust me?"

"Always," I whispered instinctively. He smirked and squeezed my hands before stepping away from me and the railing.

"Thank you, ladies," he announced, raising his arms to our eavesdropping audience and dropping into a sweeping bow. "Our blink-and-you'll-miss-it Christmas Brotherly Love Special, for your personal enjoyment. We'll be back at ten, bring all your friends." He turned back to me, winked, and grabbed my hand.

My heart thundered double-time to keep up with our footsteps as Hikaru tugged me through the ecstatic crowd, his hand rough over mine.

It was all an Act still.

He had always been acting...

...And yet, neither of us had been, either.

In the ensuing confusion Hikaru pulled me from the ballroom and didn't stop; I breathlessly jogged after him down the empty corridor, unable to summon the will to ask where we were headed now.

And then, without warning, we stopped. I glanced sideways at Hikaru as he stiffened, peering into the darkness up ahead. I opened my mouth to speak when he seized my shoulders and pushed me up against the wall. Before I could so much as get a word in edgewise, his hot breath brushed my face and his lips descended on mine.

The impatient, stubborn Hikaru I knew had regained control, and he returned all I had asked of him on the balcony in full, feverish fervour.

I let him take over, trusting the fervency with which he knotted one hand in the thick of my hair, tilting my head up into his kiss, while the other fumbled to loosen my tie. Instead I let my hands hang limply at my sides, cold hardness jammed up against my back as his body quivered over mine. Hikaru had months' worth of miscommunication to mend, and he apologized earnestly, desperately.

I was already in a delicious citrus and spice-induced haze when the warm wetness of his tongue breached my lips. Hikaru kissed me clumsily, his weight pressing too heavily against my body. I could feel the tremulous thunder of his heartbeat through the layers of our designer suits and the trembling of his fingers locked against my scalp.

A wild mess of emotions surged in circles through his mind, but for once I was certain through the confusion. As Hikaru started to pull back, his breath shivering against my skin, I closed my fists in the front of his jacket and tugged him back down to me with a faint moan.

We'd both waited too long for this. We _needed_ this.

At last I tucked my head down enough to gasp for breath. Hikaru's chest heaved against me, his fingernails digging almost painfully into the back of my skull.

"Ah ... Hika ..." It was hard to speak; I could still taste him when he nudged our noses together in his attempt to kiss me again. I turned my head and ran my tongue over my swollen lips, struggling toward rationale. "They have ... security cameras..."

"Moan a bit louder then," he growled next to my ear. I was ashamed by the way his words and the hard look in his eyes made me shiver.

"What if someone ... comes looking...?"

My words gave him pause and he warred against desire, his breath coming in heated gasps against my temple. That alone had me just about ready to lose it. At last he lowered his mouth. "Fine ... fine, we'll do things your way ... I'll call us a limo..."

I smiled. "Thank you."

Hikaru let go of me to fish in his pockets for his phone. "It'll take him at least five minute to get here, and I expect full recompense."

"Do you, now?" I said airily.

"You should know, I usually get what I want."

"It would seem that way, wouldn't it?" I agreed, looping my arms around his neck and leaning into him as Hikaru hit a number on speed dial. As the first tone echoed I turned my head and breathed next to his throat.

"But I also have my ways of making you work for it."

The first thing our bemused driver heard on the line was a low moan and I stifled my smirk in Hikaru's neck.

Oh yes, tonight would be interesting indeed.

Fin.

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><p>Please review!<p> 


	4. This World is Ours

**When the Curtain Falls**

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC.

Author's Note: Thanks as always to my awesome beta, DevillishTwins!

**Prompt: **04 - Reflection**  
>Summary: <strong>After _Reprise_; Christmas morning.**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>This World is Ours<strong>

The soft jingle of a familiar ringtone shook me from my sleep.

I blinked slowly in the glow of light through the crack in the curtains and turned my head with a faint groan. It was too warm and far too comfortable for me to consider fetching the phone. It couldn't possibly be morning already; I was yet too tired and silently aching. With that petulant justification I allowed my eyes to close once more.

_Too warm..._

A moment later my eyes snapped open and I stared in sudden conscious awareness at my prone right hand, resting on smooth skin so familiar to me, yet not my own. A steadying heartbeat reverberated beneath my fingertips, and my own heart raced as my gaze trailed – timorously, gradually – upward. I traced the contours of barely disguised ribs; absorbed the play of flickering light over the jutted collarbones; let my eyes linger on the proud shoulders slanting into shadows. Somehow I gathered the wits to look up at him and my breath caught in my chest. From beneath his hopelessly tousled dark hair, an unmistakeable amber stare steadily met my own.

Hikaru was already awake.

Heat rushed to my face and I dropped my gaze, filled with a sudden irrational need to hide. But even though Hikaru had noticed me staring, he was yet somehow, inexplicably complacent to our positions. I looked at my hands again and in my fluster pulled quickly away from his chest. All at once total consciousness rushed back to me; I was too aware of our tangled bodies partially disguised beneath the warm covers, and in a wild panic I sat up off Hikaru's chest, eyes flying at once to the closed bedroom door.

_The maids will be here any minute to wake us up..._ My thoughts raced. _They'd only have to walk in to see us – to _know _–_

"Kao...ru?" Hikaru's disjointed mumble jerked me from my anxious thoughts. He hoisted himself up on his elbows with a wince. "Something wrong...?"

I looked back down at him, opening my mouth. A flighty fear had risen in my throat, but somehow I couldn't enunciate it as Hikaru flicked his head distractingly in an attempt to scatter his mussed bangs from in front of his eyes. I closed my mouth again.

"No," I managed at last, "no, nothing's wrong. You remembered to lock the door, didn't you?"

"Mm."

Hikaru flopped down against the pillows and his arms slid up to encircle my lower back. Obediently, I lay back against him, but nonetheless I twisted my head to look at his face.

"Hika?"

"Yeah?"

"You locked the door, didn't you?" I pressed.

Hikaru reopened his eyes and tilted his chin to squint down at me. "I think so, yeah."

I bit the inside of my cheek, battling down my irritation at his carelessness. After a moment's thought, however, Hikaru reached around me and tugged at the slipping covers, bringing them back up over our shoulders. The insistent ringing that had woken us up in the first place had long trailed off, but neither of us cared to find the phone.

"Better?"

I nodded into his chest. I wasn't thoroughly reassured, but I didn't feel like getting up to check the lock myself, either. I settled more comfortably with my arms propped beneath my chin and surveyed him while Hikaru's fingertips danced aimlessly up and down my spine. I was almost too scared to admit to myself that this was real; but then his fingers would press a little harder into the curve of my back, tantalizing me with the memory of last night's haze, and I closed my eyes with an escaped sigh.

Even if I had wanted to, I didn't have the strength to reinstate the barriers around my heart. There would be time to question the landslide of events that had finally brought about a confrontation on a snow-encrusted balcony not so many hours ago. Right now, however, the consequences of our brazen words – or perhaps make that lips, oh, yes, something had to be said for the deftness of Hikaru's lips – were yet far off from the drowsy darkness of our fabricated womb.

My brother breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling beneath me. I could nearly taste the sweetened sweat on the warm skin next to my lips. Our bodies fit together in perfect opposition – perfect symmetry, I thought absently.

"You're really beautiful."

I opened my eyes. "Hm?"

"You're beautiful," he repeated. By the way Hikaru was still staring keenly at me, hands stilled near the middle of my back, he expected a better answer than that. I lowered my gaze and found myself suddenly interested in a faded crooked scar between his left ribs. Vaguely, I recalled a riding accident when we'd been a little less than ten as I traced the blemish.

"Kaoru, are you listening?"

"Mm," I said vaguely. "Isn't it...isn't it weird to think that?"

"Fine then." Hikaru growled faintly and his fingers flexed against my skin. "You're not beautiful. You're fucking gorgeous, and I've got you in just about the second best place right now. Do you have to over-think it?"

I turned my head against his chest. "That's not what I meant, aniki."

"Then what?"

I chewed on my lip. "Isn't it sort of narcissistic? Like complimenting yourself?"

"God, no. You don't really believe that, do you, Kaoru?"

His adamant abruptness gave me pause, but when I didn't answer immediately Hikaru shifted up on his elbows, and I had to brace my hands against the mattress to stop myself from slipping off.

"Fine, if you must know, I said what I did 'cause you got this look in your eyes. It's the way you get when you start thinking about something – you kind of smile and look into the distance like, like, I don't know, you're dreaming or something."

I stared back at Hikaru, wide-eyed, mouth still partially open. "Um," I forced myself to enunciate, "do I really...look like that?"

"You always look happier that way." He hesitated now, though the fierceness hadn't faded from his eyes. "And it always makes me wonder what you could be thinking about to smile like that. And I'm dead certain I've never looked like that, Kaoru, so I'm sure as hell not trying to compliment myself."

I didn't know how to answer and so I ducked my head, staring at the scar again. I couldn't have expected him to react so strongly...

"And you've got that look." Hikaru wasn't finished, but he settled back again and almost absentmindedly readjusted the blankets. "And don't pretend you don't know about _that _look, 'cause it's the one you put on for the Act. The innocent little brother look. And I swear, Kaoru, you'd better stop looking at me like that, 'cause one of these days it'll be the end of me."

That dragged a tentative grin out of me and I burrowed back against his chest so that he didn't have to confront the horrors of my wide-eyed, guilt-inducing expression. "But this look gets me things."

Hikaru growled faintly. "Don't get me started on what it gets you. Unless you don't feel like leaving this bed for a very long time."

"Well, you're right about one thing," I said coyly. Hikaru's eyebrows rose and he shuffled up against the pillows, hands finding my sides.

In the next instant I gasped, the air knocked out of me as Hikaru rolled us over and he landed on my stomach. He didn't give me a chance to catch my breath as his lips descended hotly on the corner of my jaw.

"Ah..." I tried to turn my head and he sank in his teeth.

His breath teased my skin. "I warned you not to abuse that look, Kao-chan."

I closed my eyes and groaned faintly. "Hikaru..."

"Yes, Kaoru?"

"...you're kind of heavy."

Hikaru huffed, "That's it, I'm taking back 'gorgeous', too. Is that really all you have to say about me? I'm heavy?"

"You're heavy and pretty?" I said innocently.

Hikaru scoffed. Nevertheless, he apparently took that as his cue to sprawl unmoving on top of me, his hands buried beneath the pillow behind my head. I closed my eyes and sighed softly; he wasn't nearly that heavy, really, but it was somewhat different to be pressed between him and the mattress. I wasn't sure how I felt about it at the moment and shifted slightly.

"What're you thinking about now?" Hikaru mumbled.

I sighed. "That we should probably get up sometime, so the maids don't wonder where we are."

Hikaru smirked against me. "Not until I move."

"I noticed."

Ringing again echoed up from the floor, the sound farther away this time. Whoever was so desperate on contacting us this morning had moved on to Hikaru's phone. At the thought I ran my hands up his sides, holding him incapable of answering the interruption.

Unperturbed by the sound, Hikaru stroked my hair. "That's Haruhi, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

An old fear bubbled up at the back of my consciousness and my hands tightened around him. But even if it was Haruhi, even if she was wondering where her date had disappeared from last night, Hikaru didn't make any move to answer her call. He gazed thoughtfully at nothing in particular, fingers tangled in my hair. If he heard my heartbeat hammering double-time against my ribs, he said nothing.

Eventually the phone quieted, and we lay in renewed silence. Subdued, and more than a little rueful at the interruption, I had started to nod off when a sharp knock echoed at the door.

"Young masters, your breakfast is ready."

My eyes snapped open and I chanced a glance up at Hikaru's unchanged expression, the whirlwind of worries back in my mind. Hikaru grimaced in return and reached up, combing haphazardly at his bangs.

"Yeah, we'll be down in a bit."

We both waited until the footsteps had trooped down the hall before looking at one another. Hikaru shrugged slightly and, our debate unfortunately settled by that intrusion, I shifted up on my elbows as he sat up on my lap and fumbled for the alarm clock on the adjacent cabinet. I rubbed at my eyes as he checked the glowing time.

"You're right, suppose we should go," he muttered.

"Yeah..."

The masks of our everyday act settled over us in silence.I tried to tell myself that I wasn't disappointed, because what choice did we have? In our private shelter, Hikaru could vehemently insist that he didn't give a damn what anyone else thought, and I could believe him. Outside, however, our defences crumbled away; notions of family and honour and propriety hounded my conscience and even Hikaru, for all his blazing defiance, was powerless.

Nevertheless, after we'd dressed in silence and I went to pick up our now somewhat rumpled suits from the floor, Hikaru stopped me.

"I love you."

Absently smoothing out the sleeves of my suit, I offered him a small smile. "I know that, Hikaru, you told me half a dozen times last night."

"I know. I just thought I'd say it again." He rubbed at the back of his neck and gave me a lopsided grin. "Just in case you forgot."

"I didn't forget, aniki," I whispered automatically, but I faltered over my next words and instead ducked to collect my tie off the floor.

Hikaru could say it so freely, so brazenly.

But I wasn't Hikaru.

Nevertheless, when I'd hung the suits at the back of our closet where maybe mom wouldn't notice them, Hikaru reached for my hand with his typical grin and led me downstairs.

"If they hadn't beat me to it, I was all for making you breakfast this morning."

"Then thank goodness for the maids, aniki," I said sanctimoniously. Hikaru glanced sideways at me, put out.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

I laughed as he led the way into the kitchen where the outside world waited, and I could almost pretend not to notice as the iron gates of Our World locked in our wake.

_To be continued..._

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><p>Please review!<p> 


	5. The Twins Fight, Again

**When the Curtain Falls**

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC.

Author's Note: Thanks to DevillishTwins!

**Prompt: **n/a**  
>Summary:<strong> A lazy winter day at home, in which Hikaru declares war on Kaoru. Can follow immediately after _This World is Ours._

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><p><strong>The Twins Fight! Again.<strong>

"Hey, Kaoru." Hikaru's voice echoed the length of the cavernous dining room and I jumped a little despite myself. I glanced up from my focused tracing of the carved designs bordering the table to find him reclined in his chair, idly tapping his chopsticks against the edge of his empty bowl as he stared at nothing in particular.

"What d'you want to do today?"

"Um," I stuttered, too conscious of Ayame leaning around me for my bowl; she smiled, curtseyed, and headed for the kitchen door. When the maid had disappeared I cleared my throat and tried again. "Um, nothing in particular. Is there something you wanted to do?"

"Hmm." He blew out a breath and folded his hands behind his head. "Whatever you want."

I nodded and looked back down at the table. It occurred to me suddenly that we hadn't had this much open time to ourselves in a long while: in between school and the Host Club and dodging each other's glances. The manor lay in yawning silence at our disposal: mom and dad were away in Hawaii for the holiday.

"How about...how about we go for a walk?" I suggested.

Hikaru nodded and shortly he slipped off his chair. I watched his silent exit before shaking myself from my thoughts and following. I was all too glad to leave the empty dining hall behind and took my time heading to the stairs. Hikaru, too, had surely realized the lack of time we'd spent together lately, and this was his way of apologizing for it.

I was appreciative for, if not a little embarrassed by, his sudden attention, and even if all I wanted, really, was his presence, I couldn't think of any activity that might excuse us staying together like this at home. Even if the house was empty, the staff skulked about, and all I could think about was exactly what we couldn't be caught doing.

Tramping footsteps down the stairs jerked me out of those thoughts, and I blinked up at Hikaru. Half dressed in his jacket, he wordlessly held out one of my old hoodies and a scarf; I smiled and took them from him.

Five minutes later we walked out the front doors of the manor house together. Hikaru stuck his hands in his pockets and I tugged at my scarf as we set off across the snow-encrusted grounds. A soft silence fell around us, broken only by the crunch of our boots and the fogging of our breath in the chill air; but it was a companionable atmosphere, and I smiled as I shielded my eyes from the midmorning sunlight glancing low between the trees, highlighting a field of white.

My eyes lingered on the dark line of forest marking the boundary of our property, and I absently thought that the scene would make a nice painting: the shadows playing across the ground, the old oaks laden with snow, the softened pastels woven into the clouds overhead. I turned to bring the potential project to Hikaru's attention before noticing my brother was no longer at my side; I paused, abruptly conscious of my solitary footfalls.

I turned back. "Hika -?"

Before I could so much as finish a wet clump of snow broadsided me across the face. I staggered back, blinking stunned through the slush at my twin. Hikaru had nearly doubled over a few feet back.

"Ha – sorry Kao – couldn't resist –" he made out between breathless bouts of laughter.

I rocked back on my heels without speaking and touched my cold cheeks. After a moment my silence got through to Hikaru and he stepped forward, his smile slipping.

"Kaoru? Are you okay? I didn't mean – well, okay, I _did_ mean to hit you, but not in the face –"

I overrode him with a pleasant smile. "Start running, will you?"

With one arm still stretched forward, Hikaru eyed me nervously. "Kao -?"

I ignored him. "Three...two..."

Hikaru got the hint; his eyes went wide and he took off, slip-sliding across the snow. I gave him a few seconds' headway before – "One!" – I shouted and bolted in pursuit. I stooped and grasped blindly at the snow in mid-stride, aiming for Hikaru's back. The attempted snowball faded out in a puff and I slid to a stop, spending a few seconds longer packing the next one. Already a ways ahead, Hikaru similarly armed himself.

For a moment neither of us spoke, panting, weighing the snowball in our hands. I loosened my scarf to breathe easier and grinned at him.

"You can't keep running forever."

"Why would I want to, Kao-chan?" he quipped in return, flinging the first snowball. I ducked and he scrabbled to make another.

"I thought I told you not to call me that!" I huffed, lunging forward.

Hikaru smirked over his shoulder as he ran again. "What're you gonna do about it? _Kao-chan_?"

I grimaced and swung out, immensely pleased when my snowball landed a direct hit to the back of his head. Hikaru flopped forward in the snow, but as I approached I heard his muffled laughter. I shook my head and dropped into a crouch in the middle of his back, amassing another armful of snow.

"I win."

At that moment Hikaru surged up, and in my surprise I toppled off his back. He seized a handful of my hood and shoved me to the ground. As I gasped he rolled over onto my back, effectively pinning me.

"What was that were you saying, Kao-chan?"

"No fair..." I turned my head, my temple pressed against cold ground, and caught his grin as he packed a snowball.

"Hika –"

I stopped short with a sharp breath as an icy chill hit the nape of my neck. Hikaru cackled as he shoved snow down the back of my sweater and I squirmed beneath him.

"Ah – fine – you win this time –" I gasped, feeling slush sliding down my shoulders. "Get off."

"As you wish." Hikaru hopped off and set off at a run. I sat up, suppressing a shudder as I glared after him. "That's cold, you know!"

And with that declaration I seized another handful of snow, a plan for vengeance brewing.

Very quickly we deemed the time it took to pack a proper snowball only left us vulnerable, so we improvised instead. Kicking up showers of slush, laughing and taunting in turn, we tried to get in close enough to smear the other with snow. Hikaru attempted to muscle me to the ground again, but I was smarter this time: I sidestepped his tackle and he fell face-first in a snow bank.

I had just put my plan for retaliation in kind in motion when a security guard crossed the grounds toward us, convinced by our thrashing and shouting that we were under attack. Hikaru hastily attempted to explain our game as I stood behind him, panting and red-faced, and when the guard had turned back I stuck my tongue out at my brother and considered the interruption as a signal of my victory.

The atmosphere thus disrupted, we trooped back toward the house. Now I noticed my bare hands were numb and I stuck them in my front pocket, shivering and silently cursing Hikaru's zeal in drenching me.

Nevertheless, I didn't protest when he shifted a little closer to me so that our sleeves brushed.

"So," I concluded absently, "that's pretty much what I wanted to do today."

Hikaru cocked an eyebrow. "I thought that was my genius idea."

"Yes, but I wanted to beat you," I corrected. Hikaru scowled and I grinned. "But, you know, I'll be fair and let us do whatever you want next," I decided airily.

Hikaru snorted. "If you actually have to _ask_ me, I'm disappointed, Kao-chan."

I mulled over his words for a moment and stopped short in my tracks. Hikaru wheeled around to face me with a lazy smirk as my face reddened further. "Aniki...get your mind out of the gutter! And I told you not to call me that again. Or have you forgotten?" I challenged, pulling my hands from my pocket.

Hikaru wasn't fazed. "What? It suits you."

"It does not." I huffed and shouldered past him. Hikaru seized my wrist, stopping me again.

"The cute sounds you made last night say otherwise."

"Ah..." My face was burning now as I whipped around to face his smirk. "S-Stop it! Or else –"

"Or else what?"

There was no arguing with him, really. Fed up with this conversation, mortifying to be having in broad daylight, I grit my teeth, lowered my shoulder, and barrelled sideways into him. Hikaru's eyes went wide as his feet slid out from under him; he grappled at me for support and caught the front of my sweater just as he landed flat on his back in the snow. I came down on top of him and heard a faint "oomph" as my weight knocked the breath out of him.

"This will happen," I chided, sitting up on his chest. "Now, Hikaru, are you done being childish?"

I started to rise, feeling pleased with my efforts, when Hikaru's hands caught the front of my shirt again; he pulled me back down to his chest and his hot breath hit my ear alongside a low growl.

"I can live with this."

I opened my mouth and closed it again. We were lying in full view of the front doors, and my heart thundered in my chest as I attempted to lever myself up off him on my elbows. "You have such a dirty mouth," I managed, and stuffed a fistful of snow in his face. Hikaru spat it out and shook his head, slush slipping off his nose.

"And it's too much fun to tempt you. Your point?"

I sighed and sat back, crossing my arms. "You're mean."

"You're no fun." I glared at him and he conceded, "All right, fine, if you won't let me have my wicked way..." I stuck out my tongue and he raised an eyebrow. "...I suppose we could play a game. Wouldn't be nearly as fun, though."

"Hikaru, if all we ever did was your notion of 'fun', nothing would get done around here," I pointed out coyly.

"I beg to differ, Kao-chan."

"And I'm not open to debate," I said with as much dignity as I still possessed, brushing snow off my jeans as I stood once more and marched back toward the house. Hikaru sat up in the trampled snow but lingered for a few moments before following.

Without looking back, though, I had a lingering suspicion of what he was up to. And even if I couldn't fend off his teasing, there was no way I would let him get off this easily.

Shamelessly swinging my hips I sauntered up the front steps, and when I chanced a glance back Hikaru was watching me with a smirk.

So I was right, then.

I stuck my tongue out at Hikaru and headed inside.

_To be continued..._

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><p>Please review!<p> 


	6. Instructions Not Included

**When the Curtain Falls**

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: Last I checked, I still didn't own Host Club.

Author's Note: Thanks to DevillishTwins!

**Prompt:** 15 - Anxious  
><strong>Summary: <strong>A late night video game marathon has Kaoru reflecting, but Hikaru has other ideas.

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><p><strong>Instructions Not Included<strong>

"...Hikaru? What are we?" I voiced suddenly.

"What?" In the half-darkness of the living room, Hikaru didn't look at me; his brow furrowed in the glow of the television and he tilted the controller in his hands, wheeling his onscreen character around another corner with two enemies in pursuit. Back on an open stretch, he spoke distractedly over his shoulder. "What're you on about, Kaoru?"

"What are we?" I repeated, lowering my eyes and fiddling with the unused controller in my hands. The matter had been mulling at the back of my mind for some time, and I needed his justification. "You know ... _us_."

"Us?" He blinked, bemused by my concern, and swore under his breath when his distraction cost him an enemy's glancing hit. "Well, we're brothers, aren't we? That's all there is to it."

I stared at my hands. "...Brothers don't kiss each other like that," I mumbled. "Brothers don't do ... what we've done."

At last Hikaru hit pause and as the menu reappeared onscreen he turned back toward me. His expression fell into shadow as he tilted his head. "What d'you want to call us, then?"

"I don't know. I don't know anymore, Hikaru. It all ... it all was at least distinct before."

I pressed blindly for his help, but all Hikaru gave me in return was a noisy sigh. His left hand went to rub agitatedly at the back of his neck. "Don't over-think it, Kaoru. I know that look of yours. It's ... it doesn't matter _what_ it is. Let's just enjoy it ... okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, my voice unwavering even if, inside, his words hit me like a heartless blow. Of course it mattered; it meant everything between love and ... and _that_. It wasn't Hikaru's fault I expected him to be able to make sense of the mess of emotions whirling in my mind. It was unfair to ask him to tell me what to believe, and I knew it.

Still, I didn't want to be the first to have to voice _that_ word.

Hikaru exhaled restlessly and reached over, hands clasping mine. My head jerked up and I stared, wide-eyed, into his suddenly vehement expression.

"Do you love me, Kaoru?"

"Y-yes," I barely whispered, my eyes darting over his shoulder toward the glow of light coming through the open doorway. It was late and our parents were away, but that didn't mean the maids weren't still skulking about. Hikaru was unfazed by the danger. He leaned in and his lips closed in on mine: the kiss was quick and dry.

He pulled back and met my eye, his identical amber stare blazing.

"There. That wasn't so hard, was it? There's nothing to it."

My eyes slid away from his and, sighing, he ran his fingers gingerly along the side of my face. "I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer. I don't know if I want one, Kaoru. I like us like this. There's no expectations. No judgment. It's simple, you know?"

"Yeah." I didn't look at him.

_Wrong,_ my mind echoed: if anything, our relationship was_ not _simple. Hell, he of all people should have known that. I blinked against the hated warmth brewing behind my eyes. I didn't want to cry, and especially not in front of him.

_You're so wrong, Hikaru. Even like this – even when it's just the two of us – we're still branded by that word._

Hikaru watched the troubled struggle pass on my face and sat back with a low growl, raking his fingers through his hair. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Kaoru, I'm trying. What d'you want me to say -?"

"I know," I cut him off. I tried to smile. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry, I just started thinking..."

_About what might happen if anyone finds out. About you and Haruhi, and how you still have every reason to pick her over me ... because she isn't forbidden, like we are..._

"Don't think too much," Hikaru repeated firmly. "I don't like it when you get withdrawn and miserable. Kaoru, if something's bothering you, just spit it out, okay? I only want you to be happy, and if this isn't the way..."

I shook my head, scattering my thoughts with effort, and squeezed his hand. "I _am_ happy, Hikaru," I promised in a whisper. That was the truth; I didn't want him to think otherwise because of my worries. Fervently, I pressed, "Happier than ever. Really."

He smiled at my change of heart and kissed the corner of my jaw. "That's more like it. Just one more level, all right? Then we can do something else. This game's getting boring anyway."

His hand squeezed mine a little tighter before he let go and resumed the game; by that and the skip in my heartbeat I had a feeling I knew what his promise entailed. Nevertheless I bit my lip and curled my fists over my controller.

I needed my answer.

"Hikaru ... this is incest."

Hikaru didn't answer at once. The enemies ganged up on his character onscreen and 'Game Over' flashed in bold letters. He stared blankly at the screen, features unreadable from this angle, a muscle jumping in his jaw.

"If that's what you want to call us, I guess."

I said nothing.

Hikaru sank back against the couch, scrubbing a hand across his face. "It bothers you that much, then?"

I nodded. My throat had tightened and I couldn't speak further.

"Well, so what?" he said brusquely. "In public you're my brother; when we're alone, you're my lover. What's the name matter? You said you were happy, right?"

I summoned the will to speak. "Maybe to us it doesn't, but in everyone else's eyes it makes us unnatural. Wrong."

"And that's why everyone else can mind their own fucking business." Hikaru clasped my face in his hands and pulled me toward him, more gently holding us together so our foreheads and noses touched. "I don't care, Kaoru. And I'll never care. All right? If nothing else, you can count on me."

It was so easy to believe him. I closed my eyes and nodded slightly, terrified that if I tried to speak the tears would come.

Hikaru rustled away, abruptly standing up. He grabbed my hands and I glanced up.

"Hika-?"

"Let's go upstairs," he decided fiercely, "and I'll show you exactly how much I don't care."

"Oh ... okay. Okay, Hikaru."

"Okay? That's all you have to say in thanks?" He shook his head and smirked, dragging me along in his wake. "I'm not so good at this emotional stuff, but I know one thing, and that's that I'd rather have you moaning than crying any day."

Maybe because it was late, or the tears still threatening my eyes, but his none too subtle suggestion had me laughing as we reached the stairs.

Fin.

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><p>This scene had been kicking around in my head for a while. It's a fact of their relationship that had to be confronted in the open at some point. So, this is my take on that conversation.<p>

Now: press that new shiny button!


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